Adults: How To Win Friends And Influence People

How To Win Friends And Influence People

By Ojas Mehta

Key Ideas:

-Don’t criticize

-Appreciate, praise; make people feel good about themselves

- Bait the hook to suit the fish, not suit you, and arouse an eager want

- Show genuine interest in people - everyone even low-level employees

-Smile but sincerely

-call people by their names

- Be a good conversationalist by intently and genuinely listening. It gives them a feeling of importance

-Read up on subjects people treasure most. Talk about their interest, not yours

-make others like you instantly by making them feel important

-You can’t win an argument. Why make someone else feel inferior?

-People hate to be told they’re wrong. Can show them without them knowing. Start by saying I may be wrong but

-When we are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

-Begin in a friendly way. You can catch more flies with honey

-Start conservations by getting a person to say yes twice (start where you agree not disagree)

-Let the other person talk

-People are more inclined to do things if they feel it is their idea or they discover it themselves

-3/4 of people are hungering for sympathy, give it to them

-“I don’t blame you for feeling that way, I would feel that way too if I...”

-Appeal to their noble/ethical side since most people think of themselves as such

-Dramatize/Salesmanship - make your point through dramatic examples like pointing out actual number to display wasted time (HNS)

-Stimulate in people the desire to excel (promote friendly competition- throw down a challenge). Pay alone doesn’t keep good people - it’s the game itself. The chance to prove their worth

-Begin with a genuine praise/compliment before the criticism

-Praise first then lead into criticism using “and” instead of “but” leading (Johnnie's other grades are good and the rest of the grades can come up with same hard work). Call attention to their mistakes indirectly

-Talk about your own mistakes first before criticizing the other person

-People don’t like to take orders. “Consider this..” or “Do you think that would work”?

-Pat the dog for good accomplishments instead of whipping them for bad acts: spur people on to success. Be specific in praise, not general flattery

-The average person can easily be lead if you recognize a specific ability of theirs. Give them a reputation to live up to

-Use encouragement. Make their fault seem easy to correct

-Make the other person happy about the things you want to be done by showing the benefits of it to them